How to Have a Harmonious Marriage

How to Have a Harmonious Marriage

The Number One Problem in Marriages—Strife
Harmony at home is one of the greatest blessings in life. It’s also one of the easiest blessings to lose if we don’t make a decision to do all we can to nurture our marriage relationship.

From the Scriptures you can learn the proper attitude about marriage: “Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4, The Amplified Bible).

When a couple ceases to view their marriage as precious and dear, they can become selfish and contentious with one another. Left uncorrected this attitude will lead to full-blown strife and can eventually lead to things such as sexual sin, divorce, physical injury

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What I learnt in church on Sunday

I had already concluded this topic (Killer Tips to having a happy and successful marriage), permit me to add what I learnt yesterday (Sunday) from a guest speaker – Pastor Adeyemi on Marriage.


Eccl 4:9 Two [are] better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
Eccl 4:10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him [that is] alone when he falleth; for [he hath] not another to help him up.
Eccl 4:11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm [alone]?
Eccl 4:12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Two (2) has become one so whatever you are doing carry your wife along.

Husband carry your wife along
Wife carry your husband along

Where there is unity, there is progress

 None should lay claim to anything individually. ‘MY OWN’ then becomes ‘OUR OWN’

OUR children NOT my children
OUR car not my car
Our account not my account
OUR parents not my parents. Note when the two married, my parent now becomes our parent. It is no longer my parent. Each one now has (2 mummys and 2 daddies).

Then the following takes place

You do virtually everything together
Talk together
Eat together
Stay together
Bath together
Do everything together

TWO HAVE BECOME ONE. THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO BUT ONE
SO WHATEVER GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER.

Matt 19:4 -6
Jesus answered, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female,
 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”


NOTE: AFTER THE WEDDING, THE TWO HAVE BECOME WELDED TOGETHER

PRACTICE THIS WHILE NOT FORGETTING THE OTHER (LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS AND SELF CONTROL) AND YOU WILL EXPERIENCE A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE.

WISHING YOU ALL A HEAVEN ON EARTH MARRIAGE.

THANKS

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Killer Tips to Having a happy and successful Marriage - Part 2

Today we will be concluding the topic we started Yesterday - Killer Tips to Having a Happy and Successful Marriage

7. Faithfulness

Infidelity kills marriage. Husbands should be faithful to their wives, likewise wives to their husbands. Extramarital affair is an abomination, it kills.
(Heb 13:4 [KJV])
Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

(Prov 5:19 [NET])
​​​​​​​a loving doe, a graceful deer; may her breasts satisfy you AT ALL TIMES (always), may you be captivated by her love ALWAYS. 

(Prov 6:26 [KJV])
For by means of a whorish woman [a man is brought] to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.

8. Gentleness

 (Prov 15:1 [NET])
​​​​​​​A gentle response turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

(Ps 147:6 [KJV])
The LORD lifteth up the meek: he casteth the wicked down to the ground.

 (Ps 37:11 [KJV])
But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

Husbands should not be harsh to their wives, likewise wives shoulnt be harsh to their husbands.
The meek will enjoy their marriage. If both parties are meek, it makes an awesome marriage.

9. Self Control

(1Cor 13:5 [KJV])
Love… is not easily PROVOKED… 

(Prov 25:28 [KJV])
He that [hath] no rule over his own spirit [is like] a city [that is] broken down, [and] without walls. 

Arguments, conflict and, all too often, shouting matches is not healthy for a marriage. Husbands and wife should learn to exercise self control over themselves.
Arguing, quarelling and Fighting in the presence of the children leaves a negative impact on them. This is not healthy.
The best solution instead involves seeking peace, settling your misunderstandings quietly in the bedroom not in the sitting room.

Where Men fail in marriages

1. Selfishness

It is generally accepted by marriage counselors that a man is more apt to be selfish. He is more demanding, more inclined to think of his own bodily comfort, often at his wife’s expense.

2. Harshness

(Eph 4:32 [NET])
Instead, be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.

(Eph 5:28 [KJV])
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

3. Adultery

(Heb 13:4 [KJV])
Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

4. Dishonesty

(Prov 11:1 [NET])
​​​​​​​The LORD abhors dishonest scales, but an accurate weight is his delight.

(Prov 20:10 [NET])
​​​​​​​Diverse weights and diverse measures – the LORD abhors both of them.

(Prov 20:23 [NET])
​​​​​​​The LORD abhors differing weights, and dishonest scales are wicked.

5. Criticism

Some husbands are given to criticism.
(Matt 7:3 [KJV])
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

(Matt 7:1 [KJV])
Judge not, that ye be not judged.

6. Not being head over their homes

(Eph 5:23 [KJV])
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

(1Tim 3:12 [KJV])
Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

Where Women fail in marriages

1. Nagging

(Prov 19:13 [KJV])
A foolish son [is] the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife [are] a continual dropping.

(Prov 21:9 [KJV])
[It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

(Prov 21:9 [NET])
​​​​​​​It is better to live on a corner of the housetop than in a house in company with a quarrelsome wife.

2. Domineering Tendencies

A man is the head of the house and not a woman
(Eph 5:23 [KJV])
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

3. Adultery

(1Tim 5:6 [KJV])
But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.

4. Ungratefulness

(Col 3:15 [NET])
Let the peace of Christ be in control in your heart (for you were in fact called as one body to this peace), and be thankful.

Ungrateful women don’t receive a lot from their hubby because they don’t appreciate it.

5. Idleness  - Full housewife

(Prov 31:27 [KJV])
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

(Prov 31:31 [KJV])
Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

6. Gossip

(1Tim 5:13 [KJV])
And withal they learn [to be] idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and BUSYBODIES, speaking things which they ought not.

7. Slander

(1Tim 3:11 [NET])
Likewise also their wives must be dignified, not SLANDEROUS, temperate, faithful in every respect.

FAITH SUCCESS WISHES YOU A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE 

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Killer tips to having a happy/successful marriage

9 Keys/Formulas for a successful & Happy Marriage

LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE/LONGSUFFERING, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS & SELF CONTROL

(Gal 5:22-23 [NET])
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.


LIKEWISE,
The Keys to a successful marriage is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: AGAINST SUCH there is no KEY.

THE NUMBER ONE KEY (MAIN KEY) TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE IS LOVE (AGAPE)

1.    Love (Selfless Love – God kind of Love; Agape)
(Eph 5:25 [KJV])
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Characteristics of true love (agape)

(1Cor 13:4-7 [KJV])
Charity SUFFERETH LONG, [and] is KIND; charity ENVIETH NOT; charity VAUNTETH NOT ITSELF, is NOT PUFFED UP,
DOTH NOT BEHAVE ITSELF UNSEEMLY, SEEKETH NOT HER OWN, IS NOT EASILY PROVOKED, THINKETH NO EVIL;
REJOICETH NOT IN INIQUITY, but rejoiceth in the truth;
BEARETH ALL THINGS, BELIEVETH ALL THINGS, HOPETH ALL THINGS, ENDURETH ALL THINGS.

The Kind of Love we are talking about is the God kind of Love (Agape). It is not the natural human love. It is the divine Love given to an individual when he becomes born again (Galatians 5:5).

2.    Joy

(Prov 5:18 [KJV])
Let thy fountain be blessed: and REJOICE with the wife of thy youth.

(Eccl 9:9 [KJV])
Live JOYFULLY with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life…, which he hath given thee under the sun…

The Bible tells us that husbands should live joyfully with their wives. Both partners should live joyfully with each other, this applies to both husbands and wives not husbands alone. Nevertheless women are known to be joyful while the husband stern and frowns face, No wonder the bible addresses this verse to husbands. Please Mr. Stern! Live joyfully with your wife, be joyful always.

3.    Peace

(Prov 15:1 [NET])
​​​​​​​A gentle response turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath. 

Over time, little & trivial matters can get propelled out of proportion, and not too long, couples say or do things that are nasty to each other. This results in arguments, conflict and shouting matches.
Since the fall in the garden of Eden, It is often very difficult to see our own faults. We are always right in our own eyes, so we place the blame on others. This started in the Garden of Eden - when Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent (Gen. 3:12-13).
But even if it is not our fault, shouting and maintaining the other person take all the blame is not caring. The best solution instead involves seeking peace, not reprisal (Matt. 5:9; Rom. 12:17-21).

4.    Patience/Longsuffering

Husband and wives, be patient with each other, patience will save you a lot.  Husbands remember your wife is the weaker vessel, a more reason to be patient.
Wives respect your husband and be patient with him.
Unfortunately, many younger wives today have not learned the importance of this.
In Malachi 2:14, marriage is a covenant. When we took our marriage vows, we probably repeated words like "For Better or Worse."
Do you consider Divorce (giving up) in your marriage if the situation has become "worse"? God says He "hates divorce" (Malachi 2:16), and He wants you committed to your marriage for life.
Paul gave instructions to the Church not to divorce (1 Cor. 7:10-11, Matt. 19:3-9).

5.    Kindness

(Eph 4:32 [NET])
Instead, be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.

(Prov 31:26 [KJV])
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness.

Kindness from both parties is a vital key to a happy and successful marriage

6.    Goodness

(1Thess 5:15 [NET])
See that no one pays back evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good for one another and for all.

Be good to your wives, cherish her, buy gifts for her, and take good care of her
Wives, be good to your husbands, respect him. Do your duty
(1Tim 5:10 [KJV])
Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed EVERY GOOD WORK.

The Concluding part  which also includes why most men and women fail in marriages will be taken tomorrow. Thanks for reading.
We LOVE YOU!

Also Read:
How to become a Christian (Sinners Prayer)
Understanding Salvation
The State of Man

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